MILK

Written in an hour, shot in five.

Written by Kat.

Shot and edited by ZGI.

Special thanks to Chris and Cat.

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Quick Getaway.

I go home for most of my vacations… So it’s mostly about the family.
Bali was beautiful and just what I needed for a quick getaway.
My niece.. she makes me laugh like no other.

Some small things, some not so small things…what they all have in common is my inability to see past my annoyance once I come across it. 
The little things that get under your skin… you know what they are.

Pool day with the girls… Might make this a weekly thing.

My white half wants to speak my mind, my asian half knows that I shouldn’t (no matter what).
Being a halfie is more complicated than you’d think. We tend to take the middle ground in just about everything, and often times this leaves you “outside the pack.”

My skin is as pale as can be right now… Been out of the sun too long. I miss my pool days at home in Bali.. Getting desperate here… :( Homesick.

The Pesogirls.

Reblogged from the insatiable Heather-Maria. Christ, she and I live in the same place - mind and body. The difference: pesos vs. rupiah.

- - -

The foreign men around here are deluded into thinking they are something so damn special. Simply.. and honestly… because the hot, young hookers have perfected the ability to make them feel attractive, important, and loved. For just a few thousand pesos a night. They are wrapped up in this endless supply of tricks and tips and lines… all used and delivered with the subtle mixture of naughty and nice. Innocent, but willing. A one night exchange of body parts for cash… is manipulated into feeling pretty damn close to paradise.

So it’s all fantasies and disillusions swirling up in the egos of these foreign men living in the Philippines… until one day. There, swinging in through the thick log doors of the local expat pub, the young white chick strolls in… and it’s BOOM.

Reality kick to the face.

Within seconds, everything is off balance. No one knows what just happened, but we all feel it. The moment of ego deflation. Sometimes, I swear there is a slight breeze as it happens. A deep exhale of confidence as the walls start to crack and come crumbling down in the form of a list.

No, you are not a catch. No, your boring job does not impress her, no matter how good you might be at it. No, your wallet is not enough to get her in your bed. No, she will not follow you around like a lost puppy dog. No, she will not mold herself to suit your needs. Yes, she has something to say, and yes, she will speak her mind, even if you don’t like it. Yes she has layers and yes, some of them go deeper than you might be able to. Yes, she is more interested in being your friend and not at all in being your toy. Yes, she will demand respect and no, she will not tolerate those who don’t give it to her.

Blind anger.

Isn’t it funny/ironic/screwed up that as soon as an underdog gets a small taste of victory, often times the initial reaction is to then, turn around and start pointing their own prosecuting fingers?

You would think that after years, decades - CENTURIES of being an underdog, and being a victim, that communities and people would learn to do away with the anger and resolve to behaving DIFFERENTLY from those who’ve wronged them do?

It’s sad to see underdogs that refuse to learn from their experiences and instead, become so consumed by their anger that they quickly go from victim to villain.

A country that is so used to being unfairly stereotyped, and discriminated against, and enslaved and misjudged got a taste of independent victory today. And how funny is it that almost immediately I see the young people (the ones that are supposed to be educated and accepting and freethinking) pointing fingers, throwing blame, boasting with puffed-up-chests, and damning a whole other country and it’s people for the actions taken by their government/leaders.

“Come on, it’s their government, its not the people. Its not the whole country..”

“I don’t care, I hate ‘em”.

……How quickly we forget.

Indonesia Unite.

Jakarta was bombed again yesterday.

Twice within minutes of each other…

The bombs went off a few blocks from where I work, and no more than 50meters from one of my usual hangouts.

Someone asked me yesterday if this was no longer surprising to those of us who live in Indonesia, and I have to say - it isn’t. Our initial reaction is usually “ugh..again?!”

Whenever something like this happens, the obvious emotions that emerge are anger, sadness, fear, etc.

Anger. For those responsible. How can you destroy your own country and still call yourself a citizen of it? How can you set out to kill yourself and others thinking God wants this? How can they be so selfish?

Sadness. For our people and our country. Sadness for the lives lost, and sadness for the loss of all we have worked to accomplish.

Fear. For the future. Are we ever going to move past all this? Are things just going to keep getting worse? What if it finally happens to someone I know.. someone I love?

Yes, it is easy to get angry over something like this. WE are the ones who must rebuild what THEY’ve destroyed. We work so hard to pick up the pieces and show the world that this does not define us, and all they have to do is set off 1 bomb - and it tears apart everything we’ve worked to attain.

But what I want to talk about isn’t all that, I don’t want to talk about the obvious. What I do want to point out is something I’m so proud of.

Our resilience.

I noticed that something all my friends and I had in common yesterday was our rebellious reactions to what happened. I expected “Oh my God”, “Why us?”, “What do we do?”. But instead I heard “It’ll be ok”, “We can handle this”, and “This won’t break us”.

The attitude that we all shared was “We won’t break for you.. We won’t stop building.. and YOU do not define US”. And I can’t even begin to express how proud I am of this.

Yes, we’ll shed tears. Yes, it will be long and hard to put this behind us. But no, we won’t give you the satisfaction of acting on the anger we feel. And no, we won’t let this fear dictate our lives.

Your fear only adds to our strength. Your actions only distance yourselves further away from who we are - the real Indonesian people. This is our spirit, and this is why you will never win.