In a word? Disappointing.
I have not seen any of the other Bond movies with Craig in them because, (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again) Bond is not Blonde. I completely disagree with the choice of Craig as Bond. I buy him as an actor and I buy him as a kickass spy…but I don’t buy him as Bond. He’s not smooth enough, pretty enough, or charming enough to be Bond. Brosnan and the others really set the bar high on composure.
BUT… I decided that I would watch this one….thus cementing my assumptions.
007 is all about gadgets, cars, and women. Let’s break down my disappointments, shall we?
GADGETS: A handgun and a radio. Those aren’t gadgets, those are must-have-household-items-for-a-Republican. Seriously? A tiny distress-radio? You gave Bond a rape-whistle? Liam Neeson’s mini phone in TAKEN 2 was much more impressive.
CARS: None. Okay 1. And I’m not knocking the classic Aston Martin because it was sexy as all hell, but… come on. Cool car, had some firepower, not impressed. Remember Bronsan in Tomorrow Never Dies controlling his car from his cellphone in the back seat?! THAT’S A BOND CAR.
WOMEN: Aren’t Bond girls supposed to enter the scene in slow-motion thus causing our brains to run at the same speed? Isn’t she supposed to stick around and distract Bond with the occasional sexual reward? Isn’t she supposed to either fight him or help him, until he kills the bad guy and they can ride away together into the sunset? Yeah… not this time. 1 woman. Not gorgeous (this is a matter of opinion, I suppose but need I remind you of Halle Berry?) Slept with Bond once - I’m guessing, since there was no love-scene… maybe they made hot chocolate and talked while giving each other flirtatious back rubs till the sun rose, who knows. And she had a grand total of perhaps 7 minutes of screen-time. Yeah. Bond fights bodyguards and komodo dragons and hops onto a boat to travel to some unknown abandoned island off the coast of Hong Kong to meet a psychotic killer so that he can set her free………but then she catches a bullet and hunches over dying instantly - her beautiful face never to be seen again. Completely unsatisfying.
No gadgets, no cars, no Bond girl. No bueno.
And ON TOP OF IT ALL? The CGI was absolute rubbish! Seriously. Unacceptable. I have games on my phone with better graphics and look more realistic. What the hell happened? Budget cuts?
I will say though, that Javier Bardem makes the PERFECT Bond villain! I really enjoyed his performance. Him and The Joker would be an amazingly terrifying duo.